Brilliant invention 1: Tumblerbottle

I have a lot of good ideas. It's just something that happens to geniuses such as myself, even when you're thinking really hard and concentrating on the intellectual effort at hand (in my case, answering the phones and/or watching CougarTown) they just sneak up on you, whambamthankyoubam, and you've got a million dollar brainstorm on your hands.

The problem with my good ideas is that I have a boyfriend who does not agree with me in my choice of adjective ("good") in this particular instance. He's always like "I'm going to outline why the laws of physics make your dreams impossible" or "That already exists. It's called a briefcase." WhatEVER.

My current favourite resultant of the Stacey Brain Trust is the coffee tumbler slash water bottle. If you, like me, need to be consuming liquids all the time every day, you no doubt have faced the same challenges I have: trying to fit both a travel mug and a 1L water bottle in your purse, spilling things everywhere, accidentally leaving one behind at the bus stop, experiencing neck and back pain from carting around such a hydrating burden. It is the beginning part of an infomercial waiting to happen.

The tumbler/bottle will solve all your problems (beverage related and otherwise)(see Jay-Z's hit song for a complete list), providing all you need in terms of beverage supply without the hassle or responsibility of caring for two separate vessels. One bottle: two spouts. Think about it.

"They're different temperature," suggested a certain bearded someone scornfully. "The water will get hot and the coffee cold! COULD ANYTHING BE WORSE? BLAH BLAH BLAH boring degress Celcius BLAH BLAH I've never had a paper cut BLAH BLAH." What a Negative Nancy! I'll obviously be hiring scientists to work out the kinks -- I'm a visionary, after all, an ideas (wo)man, not a simpleton with a mechanical engineering degree. But I'm sure it's possible. If we can send a monkey to the moon we can certainly segregate and preserve drink temperatures.

Jordan also felt it his duty to inform me that my invention had already been invented, a tool that could hold two different drinks, something he called "every cup ever." Apparently I'm supposed to drink my coffee and THEN fill the container with water. Like an animal! Like a moon monkey.

I'm confident I can find support for this product. We live in 2011: if I want two drinks available to me when I'm out on the go, I don't see why I can't make that happen. I'm pretty sure that's what Rosie the Riveter was talking about when she rolled up that shirt sleeve to show off the muscles she built carrying around a coffee mug and a water bottle around all day.

Patent pending patent pending patent pending! If you are a rich entrepreneur/philanthropist/sugar daddy, please get in touch with me right away about investment opportunities! I have a prototype but it mostly involves tape and that shit can get expensive.