I started running because it's good for me, and because I live next to the best running route in the world, and because I have like 10 extra hours a week to fill now that I don't have a 1.5 hour commute to work, but mostly because my best friend started training for a marathon and I am a competitive asshole super supportive. Whatever the root cause, I'm loving my new hobby: you might even say I've got a case of the runs!
It's been pricier than I thought it would be. In my younger days, all you needed to run were a pair of legs, a song in your heart, and a mean gym teacher who wouldn't let you sit out with fake cramps. In today's internet superhighway economy, it turns out you need a lot of stuff for running, and socks with cartoon bears on them from the Night Market —that may or may not have been "designed" for "children"— probably aren't going to be great performance enhancers.Walk into a running gear shop(pe) and you'll be overwhelmed by options: Shorts with pockets! Shirts that "wick away" sweat, presumably to some sort of moist parallel universe! Sneakers with arch support (that's runner-talk for "feet")! I hardly know where to begin, but to me, as a runner, the most important thing when shopping for gear is comfort. The second most important thing, as a runner, is making sure my butt looks good and the third thing is that my shoes need to be a fun colour. It's important to have standards, as an athlete (and runner).
It's nice to run the SeaWall, because other people are always out and about; running near other runners inspires you to keep going and try your best and blah blah blah, and tourists on rollerblades blocking your path provide a metaphorical reminder about the obstacles we all face in life on the way to achieving greatness/burning 300 calories. There are also dogs everywhere, which is pretty great, although some of the smaller ones could be a tripping hazzard or get puppy organs all over your brand new pink (pardon me, "Fireberry") shoes were they to be horribly crushed with a misstep.
I've been using an app called Map My Run recently, which is a cool way of tracking your mileage, having a vaguely Australian robot yell at you every few kilometres, and getting sweat all over your phone all in one fell swoop. Other runners I see sometimes have a belt full of water bottles strapped 'round their bellies: those morons don't even realize we're running right beside an ocean full of delicious wet water.
It's been pricier than I thought it would be. In my younger days, all you needed to run were a pair of legs, a song in your heart, and a mean gym teacher who wouldn't let you sit out with fake cramps. In today's internet superhighway economy, it turns out you need a lot of stuff for running, and socks with cartoon bears on them from the Night Market —that may or may not have been "designed" for "children"— probably aren't going to be great performance enhancers.Walk into a running gear shop(pe) and you'll be overwhelmed by options: Shorts with pockets! Shirts that "wick away" sweat, presumably to some sort of moist parallel universe! Sneakers with arch support (that's runner-talk for "feet")! I hardly know where to begin, but to me, as a runner, the most important thing when shopping for gear is comfort. The second most important thing, as a runner, is making sure my butt looks good and the third thing is that my shoes need to be a fun colour. It's important to have standards, as an athlete (and runner).
It's nice to run the SeaWall, because other people are always out and about; running near other runners inspires you to keep going and try your best and blah blah blah, and tourists on rollerblades blocking your path provide a metaphorical reminder about the obstacles we all face in life on the way to achieving greatness/burning 300 calories. There are also dogs everywhere, which is pretty great, although some of the smaller ones could be a tripping hazzard or get puppy organs all over your brand new pink (pardon me, "Fireberry") shoes were they to be horribly crushed with a misstep.
I've been using an app called Map My Run recently, which is a cool way of tracking your mileage, having a vaguely Australian robot yell at you every few kilometres, and getting sweat all over your phone all in one fell swoop. Other runners I see sometimes have a belt full of water bottles strapped 'round their bellies: those morons don't even realize we're running right beside an ocean full of delicious wet water.
Getting the Most Out of Your Run
- Envision a treat or prize at the end of your route and try to get there as quickly as possible!
- Carbo-load the night before, and bring a pocket full of macaroni to snack on during your jog!
- For a quick energy boost on long runs, shoot Gatorade directly into your veins!
- Ask a rapist to chase you!
Jog ya later,
Stacey "I'm a Runner Now" McLachlan
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